Prayer, Talking with the Father

If you're honest: How does prayer feel to you? Alive and natural — or more like an obligation where you're not sure anyone is listening? Both are okay. And both can change.

Prayer in the Old vs. New Covenant

In the Old Covenant, access to God was regulated: through priests, through sacrifices, through rituals, through the temple. Only the High Priest was allowed into the Holy of Holies once a year — at the risk of his life.

At the cross, the veil tears. From top to bottom. Not man tore it — God tore it. And from that moment, access is free. No priest, no sacrifice, no ritual.

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

— Hebrews 4:16

“Confidence” — the Greek word is παρρησíα (parrhēsia): free, open, unfiltered speech. You don't need to speak in “prayer language.” You don't need to sound pious. You can talk like you're talking to your Father — because you are.

The Hebrew word for prayer

In Hebrew, prayer is תְּפִלָּה (Tefillah). It comes from the root פלל (palal) — meaning “to judge oneself” or “to reflect.” Not “to influence God.” Not “to bombard heaven.” To examine yourself.

This changes everything. Prayer was never meant to change God's mind — it was meant to align YOU. God doesn't need convincing. He has already given EVERYTHING (Eph 1:3). Prayer brings YOUR heart into alignment with what God has already decided.

Pre-Cross vs. Post-Cross — the biggest difference

This is where it gets really important. Because most prayer teachings are based on pre-cross texts — words Jesus spoke BEFORE the cross changed everything.

Pre-cross (Jesus to Jews under the Law):

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

— Matthew 7:7

Ask. Seek. Knock. Those were the rules UNDER THE LAW. The veil was still closed. Access was not yet free. The covenant was not yet sealed.

Post-cross (after the resurrection, New Covenant):

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who HAS blessed us with EVERY spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.”

— Ephesians 1:3

HAS blessed. Past tense. With EVERY blessing. Not “will bless if you pray enough.” Not “might bless if you're worthy.” HAS. EVERY. DONE.

Imagine this: You're sitting at a table set with everything. Every dish, every drink. And you scream at the chef: “PLEASE give me food!” — That's absurd. But that's exactly what most do in prayer. Begging for something that's already on the table.

The Lord's Prayer — a transitional prayer

This might be the most uncomfortable section. But it has to be said.

The Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) was taught by Jesus BEFORE the cross. To Jews living under the Law. And some of its lines don't fit the New Covenant:

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”

Post-cross reality: Hebrews 10:14 — “For by ONE sacrifice he has made perfect FOREVER those who are being sanctified.” ALL sin — past, present, future — was dealt with at the cross. You don't need to ask for forgiveness daily. It IS. You live IN it.

“Lead us not into temptation”

James 1:13 says plainly: “God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts NO ONE.” Why would you ask God not to do something he NEVER does anyway? This line only makes sense in the context of the Old Covenant, where the image of God was still mixed with fear and uncertainty.

“Stop trying and trust me”

Remember this sentence. It doesn't come from a book — it comes from the heart of the Father.

How often do you TRY to pray? Try to find the right words? Try to hold on long enough? Try to do it “right”?

Stop trying. Trust him. Prayer in the New Covenant is not effort — it is rest. Not performance — but relationship. You're talking to your FATHER. Not a judge, not a boss, not a distant God in heaven. To your Abba. And Abba is always listening.

Learning to pray — or unlearning?

Maybe you don't need to learn to pray — but unlearn. Unlearn that you have to pray “correctly.” Unlearn that there's an order (worship, thanks, intercession, petition — who invented that?). Unlearn that loud is better than quiet.

Children don't speak to their parents in formulas. They babble, ask, cry, laugh, whine, wonder — everything. And everything is heard. That's how you can pray too.

When God is silent

There are times when you pray and nothing happens. No answer, no peace, no guidance. Just silence. That doesn't mean God isn't there. It can mean he trusts you to decide on your own. Or that the answer is coming — but not on your timeline.

God's silence is not rejection. Sometimes it is trust. A father who doesn't dictate every step to his grown son isn't neglecting him — he's respecting him.

Answered and unanswered prayers

Some prayers are answered — visibly, quickly, amazingly. Others seem to go nowhere. But the question is not: Did God answer? The question is: Can your heart receive?

Imagine a firewall. God sends — but your heart blocks it. Not because God says no, but because fear, doubt, bitterness, or a false image of God disrupts the reception. God's willingness was never the problem. He has given EVERYTHING. The issue is on your end.

When you pray and nothing happens — don't question God's will. Check your heart. What is blocking the reception? What lie about God still lives in you? What fear is keeping the door shut? This is not an accusation — it is liberation. Because if YOU are the problem, YOU are also the solution. And the Spirit helps you with it.

Prayer as relationship, not wish list

The deepest prayer is often not asking. It is being present. Silence before God. Listening to him — even when you don't “hear” anything. Nurturing the relationship, not just working through a wish list.

Imagine your child only came to you when they needed something. And imagine your child just sitting down next to you — wanting nothing. Which would mean more to you?

Prayer is like a marriage: If you only make demands, the relationship dies. But if you simply ARE there — talking, listening, being silent, BEING — then something grows that no formula can replace.